Practice Makes Perfect Fan Gifts

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young." - Theodore Roosevelt

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"What other tricks does he need?"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

Formula One car origami

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Man practising the violin.

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Pig Trotter

The game comes first...

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

'What training do I get?'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Dog Scalextric

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Modified Stocks/Laughing Stocks

Tomorrow would be a lucrative day foe the Indianapolis Police Department.

Have you two even agreed on a name for the prototype?

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

"You asked for runny!"

Greyhound/Retired Greyhound