Practice Makes Perfect Fan Pillows

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young." - Theodore Roosevelt

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"What other tricks does he need?"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

"The suit - it's rejecting your body."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

Formula One car origami

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

The game comes first...

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

Pig Trotter

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'Delusions are a common symptom of World Cup fever.'

Man practising the violin.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Angel investors in the outfield.

Dog Scalextric

'I know you felt great after ten laps around the track, Mr. Fandella, but remember you were driving.'

Birds watching car race wishing they had wheels.

I think these were meant for you. Sit. Speak. Shake. Heel. Stay. Wait. Down. Fetch. Come.

'What training do I get?'

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE

"That' was great - let's run though that again."

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

Greyhound/Retired Greyhound

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

"You asked for runny!"

Have you two even agreed on a name for the prototype?

Modified Stocks/Laughing Stocks

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Tomorrow would be a lucrative day foe the Indianapolis Police Department.