Super Fan In Training Pillows

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Super Student

"What other tricks does he need?"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"They'd sold out of #1's."

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Who said money was not a motivator?

Gertie's never been the same since she got the cape

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

'What training do I get?'

Die-hard soccer moms.

Soccer Fans.

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

'Stop it! Stop it, you two! If you keep fighting about it, then neither one of you will get to be 'coach's bench buddy'...'

Spring ballpark errors.

"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young." - Theodore Roosevelt

Doctor with funny glasses to patient: 'We don't need a radiologist. My new x-ray glasses allow me to see right through you.'

'What can I tell you? They gave us treats - at inappropriate times.'

Last ESPN highlights next 250 miles.

World Cup reactions...

"Truth, justice and the American way?... Then why didn't you just become a lawyer?"

"He can't stop digressing."