Superfan Pillows

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Ordinarily, Lauren, sports fans are not dangerous. But Mr. Hill is a rabid sports fan and he needs treatment.'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

Soccer Fans.

"He can't stop digressing."

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

Love.

"Chills, Randy. I feel chills. And I can't move." "And I can't remember the last time my palms were this sweaty." "This must've been what people felt like when they heard the Allies were finally invading Normandy on D-Day." "No way any movie can live up to this hype." "Wolverine day is almost upon us." "We are about to embark upon the great crusade..."

"And now, let us view sitcom star Donnie J. Kroft's reading of his will, which was videotaped before a live studio audience."

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

Star Wars convention...

Back in the football stadium - without face masks and social distancing!

"I'm sure you want little Jimmy to have a complete set of 'Muscular Heroes of the Cosmos,' now, don't you, Mr. Bennett?"

"I'm so sorry, there is nothing I can do for him anymore...he must have been offline for at least 10 hours..."

"All I said was, do we have to watch your telenovela tonight."

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

A man imagines flying as a superhero.

"O.K., let's see what all the fuss is about."

"I'm pretty sure my parents' homeowners insurance will cover it."

Nate was Martha Stewart's biggest fan. 'Hi, I'm Nate. I love all your work.I can't tell you how excited I am to finally meet you!'

'Off to pay your last respects,darling?'

Super Bowl Monday

"Don’t tell Mommy, but it’s OK to use swear words during the playoffs."

"How old were you before you discovered our football song wasn't the national anthem?"

Man caught in bed with football.