Training Session Fan Gifts

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"What other tricks does he need?"

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

DIY marriage counseling.

Only Clowns

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

Buns Of Veal.

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

Man practising the violin.

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

"Try taking baby steps."

"You know how it goes: Those who can, do, those who can't, teach..."