Indoor Practice Fan Gifts

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Cat gets a hole in one

Fish-tank Skyscraper.

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

DIY marriage counseling.

"Has it occurred to you that you keep getting beaten up because that's your true purpose in life?"

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

'Does the gym have a motorized version of this cycle?'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

"It was a crime of passion, not the defendant's offense, out verdict."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I keep thinking I'm being watched...'

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

Man practising the violin.

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Would you go nuts if I paint EVERYTHING pink!?"

Man with self-assembly wardrobe and lots of random pieces: 'Funny how there always seems to be a few bits left over.'

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

"How do you feel about turning over?"

Therapy for the cow dependent

'It's really not that effective, but it's easy to store.'

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

Decorators at Home

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'