Training Tricks Fan Gifts

Dog bringing old newspaper to master

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

Mexican Jumping Balls.

"Okay, okay. 'Canine.' That's 'K-N-i-N-E.' Oh rats!"

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

"Is this where the breakout session on adolescent behavior meets?"

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"He thinks he learned a new trick - I don't have the heart to tell him it's just an old trick he forgot he knew."

"Take a letter, any letter"

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

"Frankly I was expecting something a bit more sophisticated..."

"Heyyy! Where the hell did you learn that trick?"

"He's taken it badly. Been a working dog all his life."

'What training do I get?'

"Where once there was one sandwich-now there are two!"

"If I'm going to spend any time in here you need to do something about your dandruff!"

"It's not for soaking your feet. . . it's a bed pan."

Skis with stabilisers.

Fish Tricks

Spring ballpark errors.

"I suspect that you faked this burglary...Mr Houdini!"

'What can I tell you? They gave us treats - at inappropriate times.'

'Who says you can't teach a new dog old tricks?'

An elephant burping

"Roll over ... "

Performing dog

'What's this? Only a C minus in 'giving your paw'!'

'There's an APP that does those old tricks now.'

'And another thing -- if some of you lot don't get your own wheels soon, I'm joining another bike gang!'

"Miss Chapman, can you please call the pitchers and catchers and have them report to spring training?"