Postpartum Gifts

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

"Your postpartum depression can be traced to 'selling low' in your sock portfolio."

'I'm not afraid of commitment, but forever is a really long time.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Marriage least expected to last...

Dog flying with a drone backpack is attacking another drone delivering the mail.

US election postal vote controversy

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

'Oh, don't mind Jeff. It's just his turn to change the Baby's nappy.'

Santa called but you were out!

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

"The bones were bad enough, but this is just ridiculous."

'Wow, I sure got a lot of mail today!'

Dog traps the postman.

'My obstetrician recommended I nurture it in the interest of science.'

Mail Pattern Baldness - A man with a bald patch in the form of a mailing envelope.

Day one, post grad

"You try staying this this after giving birth two million times."

A stylized man in pyjamas

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"I wish you would actually sell one of these novels...all these returned manuscripts are giving me backaches!"

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Sub Post Office/Sub-Justice

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

The post-menopause luncheon's unintentional comedy act.

Beware of the Dragon

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

'Harvey, I'm afraid the dog has the mailman intimidated.'

"Hello, Number 6!"

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

Fine Print Letters

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

"Don't feel bad, my mail server goes down sometimes, too."

'Here's the junk mail.'