Portion Perceiver Gifts

'I knew there was a catch. Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight servings.'

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

All-Day Breakfast

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'Special Delivery!'

Optimist, Pessimist, Surrealist.

'How would you like your steak, sir?' - 'Big.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Fruits and vegetables

Go large or go home!

"I fancy tall men."

"Who had the Lumberjack fruit cup?"

'To help me stay on my diet, I've hired a portion control officer.'

'I'll take THIS mirror.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

Berkeley Webcams

"That's not the real me."

"It is way too much food. That's why we charge way too much money."

'Which vacation destination do you prefer: a country where Americans are feared, idolized, envied or hated? Or shall we just let that be a surpriese?'

Clothes Make the man...

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

The Dinner Builiding

Brownie Size/Okay to Eat

'Don't worship me.' 'I've lost a contact lens.'

Things look better through rose-tinted glasses.

"I just paint what I see."