Party Perceiver Gifts

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

That party went well.

Chritmas Party - "What in our own time?"

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'Special Delivery!'

"The year may be over, but it'll be dragged back up on history tests for years to come."

Shy Man at Party

Leon the electron was not sure just to where he'd been blasted when the photon struck, but indicators suggested he was now in one of the atom's degenerate orbitals.

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

I'm not going to vote because there aren't any televised debates. What? Debates are pretty much the only good thing about election season. You get to watch the politicians hate each other in person. And you get to watch the panic in their eyes when they mess up an answer and realize they've just ruined their entire political career. If they're not gonna bother entertaining me, why should I bother giving them my vote? I love casting ballots. Any opportunity to flex is worthwhile.

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

When Astronomers Party.

'It's a party invitation, Phillip, not a hostile takeover.'

"And we'll come back to the tally room as soon as we can find another defeated politician choking back tears of self-pity!"

GOP tent door

'I knew I shouldn't have come. That Maximus, throws the worst orgies!'

'His idea of bipartisan is going to two parties a night.'

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

"Just a heads up, folks. Our son is looking for his pet snake, so if you see him, he answers to 'Skippy'."

'Diplomacy is skating on thin ice without ending up in deep water.'

"You're still here. So much for wishes."

'That peak has such a look of defiance.'

"That nearly spells 'Democrat'! We can't have any of that!"

'I knew there was a catch. Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight servings.'

Mr. Popularity.

"So … Rachel tells me you're Canadian …"

"Kitchens are my milieu."

"There's no way in hell this is what it's all about."

Milk carton - 'Have you seen me? I'm the man you thought you elected to office'.

New Scandal Erupts. History sure does repeat itself. Yeah, and louder every time!

Conservative Party

Obama and the cliff.

"Actually, I wear two hats."

"Hey, Tim. Nice to finally put a face to Emily’s disdain."