Portfolio Paddler Gifts

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

Bitchbark Canoe

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

A Different Way To Portage A Canoe.

canoeist on the edge of a waterfall, stopping himself falling with his oar.

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

Canadian Canoe.

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

'That's the trouble with theae Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

Canoeing Incorrectly

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

'Yes, I do own a dog...why do you ask?'

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

Stock Market.

'I've fallen and I can't get up.'

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

Summer Sketches - Interesting and refreshing reading

'What do you mean your paddling trip went so well you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'

'Cut that out! Every time you jump in our pool, we have to refill it!'

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

Canoe paddle with a bite mark in it.

'No. The last time I tried to get my money to work for me it ran off and left me.'