Portfolio Paddler T-Shirts

"It's called investing! You give me your worm now, I eat half of it, feed the other half to the fish and, in a month, we share the fish 10/90 my way. . ."

Bitchbark Canoe

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

A Different Way To Portage A Canoe.

canoeist on the edge of a waterfall, stopping himself falling with his oar.

'I think it's time we came to grips with our addiction to buying kayaks.'

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

Canadian Canoe.

'I sure wish there was a formula for picking the right mutual fund!'

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

'Now this is a fabulous strategy that has worked flawlessly every year, except for those when it failed miserably.'

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

'Those? Oh, they're nothing serious, they're just rumor trembles.'

"Norman's really into wild paddling."

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

First Little Piggy Investment Associates

'That's the trouble with theae Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

Canoeing Incorrectly

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'

'This wasn't in the adventure brochure!'

'Yes, I do own a dog...why do you ask?'

'Before you get into the market, Mr. Root, we need to test your pain threshold!'

'What do you mean your paddling trip went so well you lost track of time? You were supposed to be home over a year ago!'

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

Summer Sketches - Interesting and refreshing reading

'I've fallen and I can't get up.'

Stock Market.

'Cut that out! Every time you jump in our pool, we have to refill it!'

"If it gets boring, I can tell you how I borrowed money from the Mob, and how, right now, we;re actually on the run from them."

'My God! Isn't rain wonderful?'

Canoe paddle with a bite mark in it.

"Looks like we invested in a dysfunctional family of funds."