Portfolio Pioneer Gifts

Don't panic sign at Wall Street

"Small cap stocks? We like to think of these little gems as craft cap stocks."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single bank loan."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Now this is my kind of green!'

Woman at a desk with in out boxes marked Market Up Market Down.

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'I would like to see a little less adventure in this business venture.'

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"So our agreed strategy is to dominate the market and it creeps profits by 670%. Anybody any idea how to do it?"

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

"Time passes much more slowly in the other dimension, so take these sudokus."

'Before we found you, we were just squeaking by.'

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

Investor alternates between hating and loving gold, depending on the stock market's performance.

Have you seen my money?

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'This is where we shed all our inhibitions.'

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

Wall St Baptist: 'Life is exactly like the stock market exchange and we each have our own portfolio to manage.'

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

'Are you looking for something in light blue, or dark blue, chips?'

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

'That's the trouble with theae Chinese stocks -- an hour later you want to invest again.'

Wait! It might be cheaper to just knock it down and build from scratch.

Ambitions. . . To Make It To The Top.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, this seminar is about how to make profits in times of crisis..."

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'Before we get started, I would like to thank our stockholder for coming tonight...'