Porch Sitting Gifts

Calm in the Face of Chaos

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

You can't get what up

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

Sod orf, midges...

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"The screen porch makes it a home."

"I believe jazz did come up the Mississippi, Ted, but not quite as far as East Moline."

"I like you a whole lot better when you was alive."

"My husband used his rejected manuscripts to make these columns."

"I'm just saying we might be jumping the gun just a tiny bit on the outside seating."

'You don't see any for hours, then three come along at once.'

"So, has Grandpa's 'longevity pay' kicked in yet?"

'Because of the picturesque nature of your house, the government would like to list it...one of you will have to sit on the porch at all times.'ou

"Jehoshaphat! Look at that gait!"

'Unga always wanted to fish from his front porch'

'It's a perch.' 'Porch.'