Porch Enthusiast Gifts

'Because of the picturesque nature of your house, the government would like to list it...one of you will have to sit on the porch at all times.'ou

A man sits on his porch with a fire extinguisher

"My husband used his rejected manuscripts to make these columns."

'It's a perch.' 'Porch.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Allotment

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

Fly Fishing

Fishing sign.

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

'More bubbles!'

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

The Brothers Grime

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

'Hey - my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Smokey The Tree"

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

"He loves his leaf blower."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"All right, boys, we're had our fun."

Sport Utility Boot.

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

Bike Rides

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"