Porch Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Because of the picturesque nature of your house, the government would like to list it...one of you will have to sit on the porch at all times.'ou

A man sits on his porch with a fire extinguisher

"My husband used his rejected manuscripts to make these columns."

'It's a perch.' 'Porch.'

"Ahhh... close enough."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

'My feet are killing me.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

Allotment

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

Dog's kite's tail is wagging.

"It's such a lovely day!"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Fly Fishing

'More bubbles!'

"You realize there’s probably an app for all this?!"

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

When the world is Mud-luscious - e.e. cummings

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

Fishing sign.

The Brothers Grime

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

"I don't remember it ever being this windy before."

Sport Utility Boot.

'Why Sally, you look so fetching with that stick!'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"Frank and Sheila finally get off the beaten path."

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"