Porch Sitting T-Shirts

Calm in the Face of Chaos

Dueling banjos, after the duel.

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

You can't get what up

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

Ow! Mutter! Toot! At the Old Superheroes Home. (This cartoon was originally published on 2003-07-28).

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

"Mr. Coughlin over there was the founder of one of the first motorcycle gangs"

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

Sod orf, midges...

Beware of Curmudgeon!

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"The screen porch makes it a home."

"I believe jazz did come up the Mississippi, Ted, but not quite as far as East Moline."

Whenever I let my conscience be my guide, I get picked up for vagrancy. (Published originally on 8/5/2006.)

Ha ha ha, yours is blue, too!

"I'm just saying we might be jumping the gun just a tiny bit on the outside seating."

"My husband used his rejected manuscripts to make these columns."

'You don't see any for hours, then three come along at once.'

"So, has Grandpa's 'longevity pay' kicked in yet?"

"I like you a whole lot better when you was alive."

'Because of the picturesque nature of your house, the government would like to list it...one of you will have to sit on the porch at all times.'ou

'It's a perch.' 'Porch.'