Porch Sitter T-Shirts

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'The best part of growing old is not having to invest for the long term.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"Jehoshaphat! Look at that gait!"

"I like you a whole lot better when you was alive."

'I explored all of my career options and found sitting on a porch was more rewarding than becoming a pumpkin pie.'

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'Fetch.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

A large leaf falling on a dog

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Hush puppy.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Tourists and their Pets.

Walking a dog on a treadmill.

"We've found a marvelous trainer for Rex."

"He's a guard dog."

"Shake! Good Dog."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

'He's not supposed to go out.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Murder in Apartment 6-K