Porch Relaxation Gifts

Giant Mosquito Screen Door.

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'Will you please stop feeding the pigeons?!'

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

A man gets a paper cut while reading in his back yard and is attacked by 'Lawn Sharks'.

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, a CD player, a laptop computer, a cordless phone and thou.'

"He's 'getting the grill ready for summer,' which means he's washing out the beer cooler."

A man sitting in the grass reading

"I think he just ashed on me."

'A lovely day, a good meal, and, thank heaven, no guilt.'

'Woke up this morning found someone had stolen my guitar...'

"We missed Fashion Week!"

'Oh, for god's sake just ignore it!'

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'Why is it that as soon as the sun comes out the flies come out too.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"This is one of those beautiful summer days when I'm flooded with memories of things that never happened to me."

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

"Would it have killed him to create a screened-in porch?!"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"What … have … you … done?"

'They're clouds, Bob. You can't channel surf.'

Water Gardening: And you will find yourself thinking over many garden problems at the waterside.

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Townsfolk enjoying some personal time off at their local mountain spring.

'Now this how you handle the end of summer...'

'Nothing like a cup o' Joe before you mow.'

Calm in the Face of Chaos