Popular Passage Ponderer Gifts

"200,000 other people have also highlighted this passage of the E-book, you common idiot."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

Sex Education

Writer

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Shakespeare considers alternatives to iambic pentameter

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

'If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?'

James Russell Lowell

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

Ode to Nature.

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

Various Birds of Pray.

'I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...'

"Oh, swallow your pride and go to the eye doctor!"

"Honey, could you grab the Bible? I need to double-check something."

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'