Parables Ponderer Gifts

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Max Weber

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

'I say we try it.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

Writer

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"In the room the women come and go. Talking of Michelangelo."