Proverbial Ponderer Gifts

Rare footage of a leopard changing its spots.

"Your honor, wearing a shearling coat does not constitute a wolf in sheep's clothing!"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Needs to get a life"

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Max Weber

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I'll have dessert first."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I say we try it.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up