Proverbial Ponderer T-Shirts

Rare footage of a leopard changing its spots.

"Your honor, wearing a shearling coat does not constitute a wolf in sheep's clothing!"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Needs to get a life"

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Max Weber

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'I say we try it.'

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I'll have dessert first."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

I see

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Three Wise Monkeys with MP3 players: Hear no evil, hear no evil, hear no evil

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Some moss pounces on a rolling stone.

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'