Prophetism Ponderer Gifts

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Chiller Theatre

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I cross the road to forget."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

"Is this who I am?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

Non Thought For The Day.

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."