Parables Ponderer T-Shirts

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Writer

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

'I say we try it.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Telling Self to Buzz Off

'Have you noticed how the grass is always greener on the other side?'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."