Pars And Prayers Ponderer Gifts

'Boy, they don't miss a thing, do they?'

Crowded Ice Fishing

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'Sometimes, in the stillness and warmth of an afternoon sun, I can almost hear interest compounding.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Yes sir, Thoreau had the right idea.'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"Have you tried turning off your conscious mind and then turning it back on again?"

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

"As slim as your chances are for salvation, it's nice to see you keep trying."

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

George Santayana

"How long has he been missing?"

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."