Poop Jester Gifts

Poopy Baby

Man retrives a mermaid from his swimming trunks after a swim in the sea

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'You made me jump.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

Boomerang fetching

He Did It!

'With this offer you get high speed internet, satellite TV and a new message tapping log for just $99.95 a month.'

'Purpose of visit?'

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

'My husband never does anything in a hurry either: Not only is he a sloth, he's a lazy sloth...'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

Watering a plant in the rain.

'It may be his inner ear.'

'Orange juice from 100% carrots'

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

'I'll grab the prey's attention and distract them while you sneak up from behind...'

"Here, try this anti-dandruff fertiliser my gardener recommended."

How to mince a pie 1. Get hold of a pie 2. Mince that pie 3. Serve to your guests

"Sometimes, the fight for little sister equality must take interesting turns."