Pomp And Circumstance Appreciator Pillows

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Final words on gravestones.

"...but, seriously..."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

"I just love your use of lying"

"The secret to being a cat is to imagine that Hail to the Chief is playing wherever you go."

"Boy needs bigger tire."

Giraffe Car.

Noah's Ark Being Towed.

'The return of the Jehovah's Witnesses'

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"...and this is my better half...!"

Massage Mushroom Cloud

Log in, paper out.

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

'The entire Nadler family was devoured by a flesh-eating bathroom fungus.'

"You want me to pee in that cup. From here?"

A ball's best case scenario.

"Cat Stevens!!!"

"Social crutch."

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

"Any chance of a tidy-up round the back and sides while you're at it?"

"It's to keep me from getting ahead of myself."

As it were