Pomp And Circumstance Appreciator Gifts

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

Final words on gravestones.

"...but, seriously..."

Committee On Feline Healthcare

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

"I just love your use of lying"

Giraffe Car.

"The secret to being a cat is to imagine that Hail to the Chief is playing wherever you go."

"Boy needs bigger tire."

Noah's Ark Being Towed.

"...and this is my better half...!"

Log in, paper out.

'I'm divorcing you...and I want custody of the squids.'

Massage Mushroom Cloud

'The return of the Jehovah's Witnesses'

'Gail, my dear, please don't talk about sex - my God this is a restaurant!'

"...But if I write 'help' in the sand, I'll lose track of how many days we've been here."

Man looking very nervous in an inflatable boat with a porcupine.

"Cat Stevens!!!"

"Social crutch."

A ball's best case scenario.

"You want me to pee in that cup. From here?"

'The entire Nadler family was devoured by a flesh-eating bathroom fungus.'

"I understand that curiosity is a good thing in non-cats."

"Any chance of a tidy-up round the back and sides while you're at it?"

"It's to keep me from getting ahead of myself."