Comedic Situations Appreciator Gifts

Shop worker thinks lady asks him if he has hemorrhoids when she asks for Altoids (mints).

'I love it when he plays the part of the hurt little boy.'

'Gesundheit!'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

Fly Fishing

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'I asked Will if he wrote it. He said he wasn't sure.'

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

"It's basically the 'Tragedy of King Lear' but with animated penguins."

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Conservation Area

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

"Did you just do a rooster?"

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

Moulin Rouge Security

'Another blond hair! You've been making a lot of night calls lately...'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"All stories have been told, all songs have been sung. But that won't stop us from making movie reboots."

All-Verbal Westerns

"A haand gel...!?"

"Play dead!" "What a long strange trip its been..."