Pollution Pundit Gifts

'They are worried about the economy.'

But we make you westerners nice cheap things. And we're paying through the nose!

Factory Chimney

"You should have been here last week. This is clean coal."

'Since I'm not old enough to smoke, I thought I'd stand here and inhale. I read that the effects of slash burns are as harmful as cigarettes.'

"Just don't swallow any. What we're wallowing in is Hi- Density-Syntha-Soil Fabricated mud."

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"Tariffs"

Tuesday, 2022

Green Energy used to power polluting industries

Using public relations to change perspective about the oil spill in the Gulf...

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

'One day this will all be yours.'

The Procrastinator

Lessons from the fossil record: Discarded consumer goods in the anthropocene layer in the rock strata.

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'Well, the weather was terrible, but the buffet was AMAZING!! They had EVERYTHING!!'

"This is our format: Three minutes to present your case, two minutes each for rebuttal, one minute for summing up, and thirty seconds for claiming victory."

"What a coincidence, this letter complaining about our paper mill polluting the river is written on notepaper printed there...."

'Half-empty...half-full, but probably polluted.'

"Thank you all for coming to this small enclosed space to discuss a deadly and highly communicable disease."

'Not a problem. Our industry is self-regulated. In fact, I'm scheduled to jump off the roof right after this meeting.'

"Wow, Bill! It sounds like you're developing a real moral streak!"

"I refuse to be intimidated by climate alarmist!"

'I tell you, since we bought this hybrid, I really feel we're doing our part for the environment!'

Protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Rose colored glasses.

"Good Evening. . . would you like to hear about our 'America has too many regulations' specials . . . ?"

'Big deal. You found a particle in your lab. I vacuum over particles of yours every day.'

"What a gloriously sunny day...! I must get in the garden and burn something..."

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

Think - But not too much.

"There's a nuclear waste dump with broken barrels under your garden but you won't get cancer. I'll eat you first!"

"Before we came along, gentlemen, all this was nothing but farmland."