Environmental Commentator Gifts

"Damn straight, if the food chain ain't broke, don't fix it."

"Before we came along, gentlemen, all this was nothing but farmland."

Bloody Hosepipe Ban!!!!

"Global warming has been good to me... I switched from investing in coal to rubber boats."

"All we need to do to avoid global catastrophe is reduce subsidies for giant asteroids."

Putin Missile

"I refuse to be intimidated by climate alarmist!"

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

Trump leaving

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"I think we have run out of time..."

Winter Weather.

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'Cartoonist thinking'

How Glaciations Begin

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Stocks gyrated today on news life is full of suprises.'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

Chess on TV

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"This is gonna be great!"

"Woo-hoo!"

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

The United States of Amazement