Environment Commentator Gifts

I don't know what's worse-drowning over here or roasting over there!

Flood.

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Trump leaving

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

Winter Weather.

"I think we have run out of time..."

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Cartoonist thinking'

How Glaciations Begin

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"The Nominees"

Sports Radio in Crisis

"It really was a no-brainer, selling drilling rights at the North Pole."

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"This is gonna be great!"

Chess on TV

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Woo-hoo!"

"You can already make reservations and travel as soon as climate change has caused sea levels to rise!"

The United States of Amazement