Polls Addict Pillows

Pollster

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

EU Deal

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

The end of election 2016

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"This is gonna be great!"

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

Impeachment to Trump

"I'll check your circulation."

'You think economic news on TV could be adversely affecting our patient?'

election polling

'It's true that I accepted the bribe, seduced the intern, and stole the money, but I did it with the nation's best interests in mind.'

Trump-Putin Conspiracy Theories

'Circus in town?' - 'Election'

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"C-Span is our reality television."