Polls Addict Pillows

Pollster

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"Oh my God, they're gassing refugees. Look at this family!"

Annual Pollsters Convention. Wow, who could've predicted such a low turnout?

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"? ???????? ?????, ??? ???????? ? Waukesha County."

'Which scares you most - Iran, North Korea, or the alternative minimum tax?'

"And I thought I was toxic. . ."

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

The end of election 2016

"To sum up the political platforms of the candidates....Trump wants to put Hillary in prison, and Hillary wants Trump on the sexual predator list."

EU Deal

"This is gonna be great!"

'You think economic news on TV could be adversely affecting our patient?'

'Washington has wooden teeth? -- how did you find that out?', 'It came out in conversation.'

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

E Pluribus Nada

Impeachment to Trump

"I'll check your circulation."

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

election polling

Freaking out about Trump, Letting Bush off the Hook

'It's true that I accepted the bribe, seduced the intern, and stole the money, but I did it with the nation's best interests in mind.'

Trump-Putin Conspiracy Theories

"Would you like your MP not to stand at the next election?"

"C-Span is our reality television."

I Know Why They Don't Know

'Circus in town?' - 'Election'

The Democracy We Deserve