Polling Fanatic Pillows

'I KNOW the country is deeply divided!'

Alternative fielding positions

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Can you fetch all of these but leave these others alone?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"The issues are a big snore, Dave. Let's talk about my hair on fire."

"I'll cross any ocean to fight for our country! I'll travel to the gates of hell to defend our rights!"

Middlesex Election, 1804- Burdett and his Radical Allies Anticipate Victory

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

The Election Strategy

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Pop orchestra plays concert for children

Election Time

'Our poll shows the typical voter is all polled out.'

"The latest poll numbers must be out."

Dropping Popularity of Obama.

Election Celebration: '...we're celebrating the end of the 2012 political campaigns.'

"Angry or Hangry?

'Since 'demonizing'of political rivals is so popular, I've decided to run.'

"I'm undecided, but that doesn't mean I'm apathetic or uninformed."

'If we are going to vote on everything, why do we need a legislator?'

'How would Jesus register?'

'So...watching the democrat national convention made up your mind who you're voting for?'

Bush Senior.

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."

Vote like your rights depend on it

"Another case of wearing too many presidential candidate buttons."

'Have a tequila - have a tequila!'

Vote Like Your Life Depends On It