Campaign Addict Pillows

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do for him. He overdosed on campaign commercials."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

Pollster

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

Sarah Palin Fact #2783, Sarah Palin makes her own diamond earrings by squeezing coal.

Tony Blair

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

'I wrote my own speech once. It didn't sound like me at all!'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

"Mr. Bermudez, as candidate for mayor, I need your vote. I think we can agree that the most urgent issues are education, employment and political access!"

"At this point, the product smiles and says, 'Good day, Mr. Froggie'."

'Under truth-in-advertising...My campaign promises are 55 true, compared to 35 for my opponent.'

'Well, I see that Senator Zwecklos has found a loophole in the Campaign Finance law.'

"None of the candidates - not one - talks about health insurance for use."

Hillary Clinton

"Just tryin' to inform and educate the electorate!"

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

You're suffering from pre-election fever brought on by competing promises.

TRUMP

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."

Advertising campaign before product development

"Oh, my mother's learned a lot from this campaign. She sends me five robocalls a day."

'There's a democracy in here somewhere...'

"Your poll results on't look good. You're trailing 'statistically insignificant'."