Campaign Enthusiast Pillows

"I may be awhile. I'm soliciting funds for my reëlection campaign."

'My greatest asset is I'm so rich, I can't be bought by any interest group.'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

Will Legislate For Contributions

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

With all the money being spent on TV ads, how is the average voter feeling about the political process?"

'The latest poll show 8% of voters like you, 12% don't like you and 80% don't remember who you are.'

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm offering a 700 billion dollar tax cut AND a free tote bag!"

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

"Oh, my mother's learned a lot from this campaign. She sends me five robocalls a day."

'There's a democracy in here somewhere...'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'What an ugly little sprog!'

Truth - underwritten by corporate campaign donations.

Core beliefs.

Conservative Curate Talking to Bill Sticker

I still need to see some I.D. Vote Sneem. Vote Sneem. Vote Sneem.

RE-Elect Sen. Krupt. I understand he's a hawk on defense, a dove on foreign relations, and an ostrich on the deficit.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

TRUMP

"Great stuff, but here's an idea: what if it's an old white man?"

Mobsourcing

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."

"I've run out of computer space. It's filled with fund-raising emails from politicians."

Bernie, Trumpified

Yes You Can

Bend Over

If Politicians Don't Promise Anything, They Can't Be Accused of Breaking Their Promises

Can't Act

That Awkward Three-Way Race Feeling

Candidates?

What's Not Happening In Hillary's Meetings

"He's our man. He's our guy. He lies less than those other guys!"

"Thanks so much for stopping, but we're just waiting for the M10."