Polite Decliners Gifts

"Having received your offer of friendship, and after due consideration and given the fact that I don't know you from a bar of soap, I must inform you that I will be declining your request."

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

The merger hits a snag.

'Say, please.'

Politeness opens doors

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

Victorians playing croquet.

"What? Tiny houses are all the rage."

A Louis Auchincloss-Type Law firm

'No. I insist. You first.'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

"Well, it looks like it's just me left to get toasted. Have a great day!"

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

Won't it be fun to vacation with your grandmother? I guess. But I'd rather go with you and daddy. Oh, honey! That's so sweet! We'll miss you tooo � Groan! We'll have to be polite 24/7! Does my smile look sincere?

Miss Manners: Inappropriate and Appropriate.

Guard asking whether a girl is young enough for a half price ticket

'For you information, hymns are meant to be sung, not whistled.'

Policeman and cab tout,

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

Gentleman whale.

Man attempts to be rid of girl's father so he can be with her

'Gesundheit, , , what's wrong need a kleenex or something'

"Welcome to hell. The only thing you're allowed to watch down here is politics."

'Timmy has to think of five 'random acts of kindness' to do each day this week, for school.'

'Bless you.'

Not to do list - Vote.