Polite Brawler Gifts

'Fine, thank you. And how are you?'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

Poetry debate

'A fight has broken out between Dr. Who fans and Star Trek fans. No hurry, the likelihood of anyone getting hurt is very small.'

Handbags at dawn. A typical bout of fisticuffs on the rugby pitch.

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

"Who you calling a candya**?"

Umbrella fight.

Bar bouncer resumes.

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

Reid stops Priebus with a 'tax evader' to the solar plexus...

Department Battles

Cowboys in a Bar.

'Who gave you that black eye?'

'Oh yeah? Well, my dad can beat up your dad!'

'Don't make me reach back there and turn off that TV.'

"You realize, of course, that this means war."

Cowboy: 'Oh YEAH?!! Well THEN,shove,kick,whack,thump,bash,hit,gouge and PUNCH!!' 'Why you betta WATCH yourself mister! Them's FIGHTING words!'

'Oi pal, did you spill my pint?'

Tensions rose,words were exchanged, and the next thing you know a monkey bar brawl broke out.

"Quiet Smithers... I thought I heard something."

Boxer

My cell phone minutes don't roll over and I don't want to waste them. That's why I'm dialling random numbers and wishing everyone a good day.

"Dammit, Trevor! Just say 'Please' so we can get outta here!"

'OK, here we go. In order to pinpoint the cause of violence in sports...'

Settling a legal difference.

'Don't make me come down there.'

"Yeah? - Well i say you're yellah..! What'ya gonna do about it??"

Fred's last lie.

Angus knew he was in trouble the moment he called her 'lassie'.

Polite Greetings

Where are your manners? Keep your tusks off the table!

Poor kid...crushed by his own backpack!