Politeness Debunker Gifts

'According to the blood tests, x-rays and EKG... You're fat.'

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

A Truism's Journey

The merger hits a snag.

'Say, please.'

Politeness opens doors

A gentleman giving some children a lesson in manners

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

Count Flatula

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

'No... you first.'

'No. I insist. You first.'

'It looks pretty flimsy, but I'm a gentleman: After you dear...'

'After you' said Miss Manners. 'Oh you first' insisted Mrs Etiquette.

"All you had to do was ASK us to leave!"

"Can we not argue in public? Buzz me up and let's discuss this calmly."

People for the Ethical Treatment of Anthrax

Back in the old days, when mob rule etiquette counted for something.

'Don't ask for anything.'

"Weather rebuttal."

Won't it be fun to vacation with your grandmother? I guess. But I'd rather go with you and daddy. Oh, honey! That's so sweet! We'll miss you tooo � Groan! We'll have to be polite 24/7! Does my smile look sincere?

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

"You're very courteous for a hog"

'Don't forget to say 'pretty please'.'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

Miss Manners: Inappropriate and Appropriate.

Guard asking whether a girl is young enough for a half price ticket

'For you information, hymns are meant to be sung, not whistled.'

'Hey, c'mon, I wanna hear ya say 'Have a nice day'...

Man attempts to be rid of girl's father so he can be with her