Polite Pal Gifts

Where are your manners? Keep your tusks off the table!

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"It get it – you're hungry."

Time for tea and friendship.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

"Oh, come on! Nobody brought a pen?"

"Nice talking to you too, even if you are a recorded message."

The merger hits a snag.

'I'm sorry, but the position of Contentment Provider has been filled.'

She'd decided to apply for a species change...

'Oh no we couldn't...We've known one another too long' Then they kiss and laugh

Persian

"I don't feel so much endangered as I do under funded."

A Louis Auchincloss-Type Law firm

'No. I insist. You first.'

"Aw, he's really attached to you."

'Wow, you really have Tabby excited now! I can almost hear her breathe!'

'I certainly phoned SOMEBODY and said, honey, I'm bringing home a guest for dinner!'

Canada, a country of peace and beaver tails. Happy Canada Day!

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

Won't it be fun to vacation with your grandmother? I guess. But I'd rather go with you and daddy. Oh, honey! That's so sweet! We'll miss you tooo � Groan! We'll have to be polite 24/7! Does my smile look sincere?

"Well, it looks like it's just me left to get toasted. Have a great day!"

Kevin was very houseproud and it showed.

'How did your meeting with your insurance company go?'

Policeman and cab tout,

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."

Gentleman whale.

Man attempts to be rid of girl's father so he can be with her

Love.

Kitty's Clock, each hour marked by a cat's face and the reminders, 'Scratch me, Brush me, Feed me, Play with me, Look at me, Pet me, Find me, Talk to me, Feed me, Rub me, Hold me.'

'How thoughtful - he even got the dog a present.'

'So you're a cat person...'

As American as Apple Pie!

"Excuse you. Don't embarrass me in public."