Police Drama Fanatic Gifts

'I ain't saying nothing without my literary agent!'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

Bribery and Corruption.

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

"If we could explain it in Hip-hop, officer?. . . It would be like this!"

Missing Persons - "50 years old, 16 stone and bad tempered... Are you sure you want her back?"

To Be. Not To Be. All Of The Above. None Of The Above.

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Now calm down Ma'am. If you want to report a murder I'll patch you through to Detective Malone in homicide. This is Sergeant Flanagan....Insecticide!"

'I'm in the not-so-serious crime squad, actually'

'It's not for acting...It's for a testimony in a courtroom.'

"Me? A retired canine officer. They let me go when they found out I couldn't smell fear any more."

'I'll be happy to provide a blood sample but it won't be mine.'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

We really have to stop letting him watch the news.

"Don't ask where it comes from. Just be glad I can provide."

'I don't think the killer would in the garden...that'd be waaaay too obvious.'

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

'You got a search warrant?'

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

Al Pacino

'Let's do the Good Dog, Bad Dog routine.'

"No. 3 step forward and whine, 'Please, Mom, I'm forty-four years old—I can tie my own tie.'"

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

'I wish I could do Search and Rescue too: When you're a Police Dog, the people you find don't actually want to be found...'

Man sees his double in ID parade. Policeman says: 'Please indicate which of these men stole your identity.'

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

'My meeting is running a little late, Marge. Can you reheat dinner when I get home?'

'Then I grabbed the ice pick - I mean, pickax. Sorry, I always get those two mixed up.'

Waking the Dead.