Polar Punster Gifts

'I hate Mondays!'

'Hi, Oognik -- hot enough for you?'

'I hope you like it -- it's fat-free blubber.'

'And now Ladies, something you've been yearning for: A microwave oven with a defrost mode!'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

I think you're ace

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Is the water cold?'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

Uranus always gets a bad rap. Tap tap tap tap tap. What do you mean, dorkboy? I mean, no matter how mature people think they are, they always, always want to chuckle when they say "Uranus." Come on, Sadie. You know you want to smirk, even if it's in secret. What if I told you Uranus is slightly bigger than Neptune? Not chuckling! Uranus is always the butt of the joke.

"Hallelujah!"

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

Hands off my IP

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

Global warming.

Shark in the swimming pool.

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'