Pool Punster Gifts

Michael Phelps.

"Where's all your fish?" "I never should have bought 'coy' fish."

Tree house.

I think you're ace

Chicken soup for the sole.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Is the water cold?'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'It's a treasure map.'

'Tony can't come out to play now, he's on his orthodontopole!'

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"I do lover a good prawn film!"

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool?"

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

Hands off my IP

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Fisherman catches swimmer.

Shark in the swimming pool.

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

'Hey, Lady, this is a sixty zone!'

Surfin' the web.

Mobile Holmes.

'Hey, Lady. . . that looks like a laptop to me. . . youze is obviously a P2P gangster. . . get in the trunk and lets go fors a little ride.'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

Timmy Gets Solitary.

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

'The kidney shape was a cool idea. Reminds us what you sold to pay for it.'