Polar Punster Pillows

'I hate Mondays!'

'Hi, Oognik -- hot enough for you?'

'I hope you like it -- it's fat-free blubber.'

'And now Ladies, something you've been yearning for: A microwave oven with a defrost mode!'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

I think you're ace

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Water is discovered on the moon....

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"Igor, you fool! I said 'healthy brain'!"

'Is the water cold?'

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

"Hallelujah!"

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"No, I'm not a hare, I just happen to have big ears..."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

'Well, you were convicted on three out of ten counts - at least we beat the point spread.'

"I take it you'l like to open joint accounts. . ."

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

Hands off my IP

'My mom says an apple a day keeps the physician's assistant away.'

Global warming.

Fisherman catches swimmer.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Shark in the swimming pool.

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends