Planetary Punster Pillows

'If you look carefully you'll see that all the claims are invalid except on alternate Tuesdays in June when Venus is in alignment with Mars.'

'Mars is known as the 'red planet'? Does it have debt problem like ours?'

'Will you stop sulking? -- I didn't eclipse you on purpose!'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

Water is discovered on the moon....

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

"The truth is, I really can't stand world music!"

The Dark Side of the Moon.

'Remember this test, Ms. Hart? Nineteen ninety. Multiple choice. You asked which of these is not a planet, and I checked Pluto...'

'What the...? How the heck did that get in there? Oh, well, I guess it will have to do.'

God Catching Planets

"The planet appears to be inhabitable but more like low-income inhabitable."

'Man! I can't stand when he blocks my light like that. What an exhibitionist!'

'I'm actually a soy milky way.'

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Jensen, look life on Venus!"

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Dogs life

'It's a treasure map.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

Standings: Milky Way Conference

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

"Is that one of those brandy dogs?"

...Isolated clumps of strange matter pop briefly out of the quantum foam to debate the possible existence of particle physicists.

'I'll have a Martini, Jack. Extra dry.'

'Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?'

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends