Playful Fashion Critic Gifts

'That sweater would fit you better if you would diet.' 'Okay, what colour should I dye it?'

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"You're wearing too much rouge."

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

Bluewater security man stopping baby with hood.

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"Nobody told me it was formal."