Fashion Critic Humor Gifts

"First you have to promise me you'll use part of this to get yourself a nice, sensible outfit for your next heist, 'cuz what you got here just ain't workin', honey."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

The mysterious Sherlock Holmes - 'Is he wearing his cap backwards or forwards?'

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"They're not Levi Strauss - they're not Levi Tate."

I like this one. Do you have it in blue?

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"That shirt is so last year."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

I'm sure it's fake.

The Dandy

All it takes is a little willpower and a good metabolism...

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'Have you any W fronts?'

"The one time in our lives when it's acceptable to run around naked, but they dress us up like L. L. Bean catalog."

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Non-Uniform Day Today.

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

The Inventor of the Man Bun!

"I found an old photo of us, when we were punk rockers... Didn't we look ridiculous?"

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"Helen. I think the dog wants to go out."

I e-bay t-shirt.

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

Flight Socks.

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."