Playful Critic Gifts

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

"You forgot his tail."

"Our house wine is abominable."

The teacher says we have to color within the lines. What is she? The Border Patrol?!

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'I've learned how to wink! Watch-.'

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Playdough's The Republic

Hamlet

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Out, damned Spot.'

'Hard to follow...'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'This is alphabet soup, Mom. I don't use the alphabet in the summer.'

Intellectual Foreplay...

'My dentist recommended it.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

"I feel like we're finally making progress."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"Don't be so gullible! - He can't EITHER call some mouse superhero with his wristwatch."

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

The Meaning of Life

"I guess when you run out of Tooth Fairy teeth, you gotta go get a job!"

"I'd like to know more about this 'Civil Disobedience'."

Mom's Mortuary