Colorful Critic Gifts

"Are these beautiful? I can't ever tell?"

"'Anguish,' 'Parasite,' 'Malaise.' Let's move Mr. Kafka out of the paint color naming department."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

Da Vinci painting a grumpy version of Mona Lisa.

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

Ranked Voting in N.Y.C.

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

Art Critics.

'To much orange.'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

Ceiling Paint

Mom's Mortuary

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

Evolution of Man

'Is it me or do these new led street lights wash out the reds and yellows?'

'I should know who he is! His work is in every gallery I go into.'

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

"It looks like fecal transplants may do us in."

"Eww! -- Is that the only color bandage you have?"

"It's off-white, but a little too off. It may get very tiring. What do you think?"

"You forgot his tail."

Cartoon Crisis. . . Biden's already causing problems!

The Slips of Capitalism

'Everybody's a critic'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Our house wine is abominable."

"The government wants an international economy... Bosses on N.Y. salaries and everyone else on Mumbai wages."

"Does this say 'Our Saviour', to you?"

"Excuse me...is there a dressing room with a slimming mirror and soft light..."

Forth Bridge finally fully painted.

My first rodeo

Two kids caught playing dots & boxes on a Damien Hirst painting, spelling the word 'so-so'.

Rabbit eating jelly beans and doing multi-coloured farts.